What it Means To Dress Like a Slut

What makes how you dress slutty? Is it the length of your skirt? How shirts sit on you? Or is it simply how society perceives different items of clothing. How you dress should be a way to express your freedom and personality; not something that results in you being judged, shamed and harassed.

Almost all woman and some men have been shamed for the way they dress. At age 13 while walking to volleyball, I clearly remember an old man saying “Those are some nice shorts, dear.” Not in the affectionate way your grandma calls you dear, in a sleazy way, implying that he didn’t respect me as a woman, nor a person.

It is small, unsolicited comments like this that dictate how people are viewed in our society. Woman (and men) change the way they dress and act to avoid these comments and to shield themselves from harassment. Despite the fact that what you wear has no correlation to your morals, your sex life and who you are, we still get relentlessly told that what we wear determines these qualities.

It is assumed that these comments come from strangers, or people who don’t know you. What is ignored is that these comments and biases can also come from your loved ones and friends. It also comes from other women. In this blog I will do 3 things. Explain why getting shamed for your clothes is filled with underlying sexism, tell you why despite this society (and woman) still perpetuate these beliefs, and discuss how your body shape can affect whether or not people see what you wear as ‘skanky’.

Whether or not something is slutty is determined by how society views and interprets it. A short skirt isn’t slutty because it is a skirt and it is short; it is slutty because people sexualize it. To properly understand these biases, we should consider how woman used to be perceived by men. Only a few centuries ago, woman were seen only as servants to their husbands. It was a “man's world”. In this man's world, woman revealing their ankles was seen as scandalous and had sexual connotations. Woman were highly objectified and were seen as ‘asking for it’ if they revealed their ankles.

This idea still remains prominent in the modern world, just at a less extreme scale. When there are sexual assault scandals in the media, woman get characterized as slutty, and men say that woman were “asking for it” just because of the way they dress. Powerful women are sexualized and objectified.

This continues to appear at a less prominent scale. Let's look back to 13yo me and the old man commenting on my shorts. Most people would have seen me as a child going somewhere to play sports. Instead, this man objectified me and neglected the fact that I was human (and was not asking for unsolicited sexual harassment). And it is these views that dictate how woman dress, present themselves, and treat each other.

Women are sexually harassed so frequently because of the portion of society that sees us as objects. This portion sees our clothes and our bodies as our identity, rather than considering that we are equal and worth no less than the average man.

Because of this, other women have also adopted these biases. Many women do not understand that these views are dictated by underlying sexism and misogyny, or do not care about these biases. This perpetuates these societal norms.

We see women slut shaming each other because of clothing all the time. Even people you love can make hurtful comments about your clothes because they are interested in protecting you. I understand that it is hard to not abide by societal norms when that can lead to yourself and your loved ones getting harassed and exposed to more dangerous situations.

However, I think it is important to be consious that when you make comments about what other people are wearing (no matter your intentions) you aren’t contributing to positive societal change, and you are probably making the person feel pretty shit. If women and men open to change and supportive of gender equality are consious of how these comments effect people, I believe we can move closer towards changing our societal narrative for the better.

People also judge whether or not clothing is acceptable based on the bodies wearing it, not the items of clothing. A girl with a larger body type is more likely to get called out for being slutty while wearing the same shirt as a girl with a smaller body type. This tells us that sexualizing clothes is not only filled with underlying sexism, but is also filled with unrealistic beauty standards and fatphobia.

In the modern world people with larger bodies are seen as lesser humans and are commonly objectified. This societal lens causes people to make even more sexual and unsolicited comments, simply because people with larger bodies are seen has having less value.

It is inherently wrong to treat somebody differently just because of their body. When a smaller and larger person wear the exact same shirt, the larger person is far more likely to be harassed. From an outside perspective, one unsolicited comment doesn’t seem like something that would hold much weight in somebody’s lives. Any woman who has been the victim of any sexual comments understands how wrong this is. One comment can make you feel disgusting in your own skin and clothes and can affect how you act and view society.

A multitude of these comments can be devastating to somebody’s self esteem. As previously explained, these comments come from a place of objectification and dehumanization. This probably causes most subjects of these comments to start seeing themselves as less human, and just an object of society.

I know that as a woman who doesn’t receive these comments very frequently (in real life, I get them way too much online), when I receive unsolicited sexual comments I feel unvalued and less human. And I definitely feel like society just views me as an object that doesn’t matter.

We can all agree that people feeling like this is wrong. This is why larger people receiving these comments more frequently is principally unfair and is something we should strive to minimize. People with larger body types are also probably more vulnerable. People who are depressed are 58% more likely to develop obesity. This means that the mental effects of unsolicited sexual comments are even more detrimental than they are to other actors.

We can take steps towards mitigating this in 2 ways. The first one is most ideal, just stop shaming people for their clothes. The second is more realistic. When you go to make a comment about anybody's clothing choice, consider if you would still care if they had a different body type. If you wouldn’t make the comment to somebody smaller or larger, don’t make the comment to the person in question.

What have we covered in this post?

• That sexualizing clothing choices is filled with underlying sexism.

• That sexualizing clothing choices and unsolicited sexual comments are also filled with underlying (or obvious) fatphobia.

• That you should consider this when making comments in your day to day life.

If you are a woman reading this, and you have experienced any unsolicited sexual comments, I hope this made you feel less alone. I also hope I discussed this issue in a way that highlighted the issues in our society and allowed for people to consider how they can make positive change. Thankyou so much for reading.